Maternal and Newborn Bonding
I think most new mothers are a little hesitant to admit that they didn't feel completely bonded to their baby at the time of their birth. There is so much going on...just the birth process itself is a whirlwind of joy, physical exertion, physical pain, doctors, nurses, family and the list goes on. When you finally get a chance to look at your baby, so much goes through your mind. I was so happy when my baby was born healthy but there was so much activity going on that I hardly had a chance to see her before she was whisked away for all of the clean-up etc. Then, when I got her back it was time to learn how to breastfeed. No, it wasn't a bonding experience for me. It was a mixture of pain, lactation consultants and over zealous nurses forcing me to feed her at specified intervals (even though I was exhausted and she clearly wasn't hungry). It wasn't until I got home that I really had a chance to get to know her (and she "ate" beautifully I might add). Here is a realistic article about what to expect in terms of bonding with your baby:From the article:
SEE ALSO: PREGNANCY OVER 40 (getpregnantover40.com)
Maternal bonding is a simple term used to define a powerful and complicated experience-falling in love with one's baby. Contrary to popular belief, it is not one instantaneous superglue event that happens when the mother lays eyes on her baby, preferably within seconds after birth. It is a process that occurs over time and can begin before conception and continues throughout the pregnancy and into infancy. It is also flexible and can overcome many obstacles like anxiety, illness, NICU and separation.
Bonding does have peak moments for a mother: when she actually stops using birth control; when she gets a positive pregnancy test result; when she sees the baby's image on an ultrasound screen; when she feels the baby move for the first time; when she holds her baby after delivery; when her baby is sleeping peacefully. In general, bonding happens when she thinks about or spends sweet times with her baby.
While the maternal bond may be well established early on, it is not an achievement that remains constant after a certain point. Rather, it is a dynamic process that rises and falls. During pregnancy and infancy, there will be times when the mother feels great swells of love and devotion and other times when she feels like running away. There will be times when she is so happy to have this child in her life and other times when she rues the day she invited him in. This is normal.
from:
www.storknet.com
